soul · with · no · footprints

So I haven't updated in a long time...

This year has been the most meaningful of my life, and one of the best, and one of the hardest. I've written a paragraph. I could write a book, but maybe it can be read from between the lines...

This is what has happened:

I went back to school. Made crazy new friends. Was artsy and covered in paint for a semester. Stopped playing piano and found a concert pianist boyfriend... the weird, beautiful, laughing boy. Fell in love, maybe. Changed, definitely. Lost it eventually. Couldn't concentrate. Got bronchitis for a month. Made Passersby cross the street to avoid my red-eyed, tear-stained, runny-nosed, coughing, depressing self. Survived on tension-tamer tea. Was going to stay in Berea, but had to run away. Now I'm in Knoxville, but I'm taking the train to Montana on Friday. Then I'll fly to Alaska. Petersburg is a little fishing village. It's on an island. The only way to get there is by plane or boat. Right now I need to be by myself. I've let every connection I have with friends and people become distant and strained, and I just wanted to let those of you who read this know that it's because of me, not you. And that I do still want to be close, I'm just having a little trouble right now.

peace and love, I'll send post cards from Alaska.
Jaimie

so i get to come home saturday(for spring break, mine is like 2 weeks after everyone else's) - Jason is picking me up on the way to cinncinati where he's trading in a VW bus for a schoolbus (finally) so i'll ride with him up there and then back down to knoxville so i can keep him company.

hopefully this week'll be full of good things^.^ i'm kind of sick of school, design is the class from hell. we have huge projects due every week, they are insane. this last one took me 19 hours, and since i put it off to the last minute, that was 19 hours straight. holy shit i was tired. ~seriously now that i think about it i didn't even take a break the whole day, i got up and ran at 6:45, had class at 8, work at 10, then class again from 12 to 4 (chem lab must die). then i went straight from the science building to the art building and worked there until it closed, went to my room and worked until 6 in the morning. i didn't even eat anything, i took a break to take a shower once because i felt so messed up, but other than that i was completely concentrated for 19 hours. sure after awhile i was really out of it, like my eyes wouldn't focus right, but i kept working. it was absolutely horrible. but oh my project turned out awesome! i've never really liked paint, but this time something just clicked (and i spent a ton of time on it) and so it actually looked really nice, we had to do a collage with all these specific things and then sketch it out onto bristol board and paint it. mine has a giant buddah, it is amazing:)

oh and kathryn, i talked to calvin (i finally just ran into him) and he still wants to hike the AT, i was gonna talk to him more about it at this party but design happened, so all i know is that he's still going on the sea kayaking trip so i guess he'll be done june 1st or 2nd if you want to start then. i don't know why i'm righting this, i'll probably just call you anyways.

kay, now i have to go finish 2 drawings for my portfolio due tomorrow, i just want to die seriously, i'm so tired of school, it needs to be tomorrow night.

soooo... i've had a revelation^.^ i think i've changed a lot. i was getting ready for a frisbee tournament yesterday and was truly excited and happy, this may not seem strange, but believe me, i tend to worry about everything regarding people- playing ultimate with competitive guys definitely falls under that category. but i was just looking forward to going, and it turned out to be awesome, probably because i wasn't worried all the time- so i actually played pretty well. it was so cool, i've got to try that not caring thing more often. so what else is happening.. hmm, i'm learning how to skateboard, and what else.. o.o we've been getting tons of rain which means.. of course lots of puddles!! there's a tradition at berea to go puddle whompin after a big rain, which is basically sliding face first through the biggest puddles we can find, omg it's amazing. so the other day it had been raining all day and there was this huge puddle, more like a small pond near my dorm:) me and these other 10 guys and 1 other girl decided to go puddle whompin even though it had stopped raining and had started to snow and there was a little rim of ice around the puddlepond. that was the coldest i've ever been, seriously. i slid twice, took a picture, and started running through the snow back to my dorm, halfway there i noticed that i couldn't really feel ANYTHING. i was trying to get my key card out and couldn't feel my pockets. i ran straight into the showers and turned it on as hot as it could go. man i want to do that again! i've been taking an alternative healing class for jan term which is really interesting. i just had a 20 minute presentation friday and it actually went fine, weird! my voice didn't even do that shaky scared thing:)

real eyes
realize
real lies

just found this ^ and thought it was cool.

i really really really need to go to the mountains:( today was the first day that smelled slightly like fall was on its way, all fresh and clear because of the rain and slightly colder- it made me miss being near trees and away from k-town and the smog that we hold so dear and near to our lungs.

I GOT A GUITAR!!! it is very shiny. i wish i knew how to play it already:p

[X] I have a cell phone.
[ ] I am an only child.
[ ] I am a shopaholic
[ ] I love dangly earrings.
[X] I have smoked a cigarette before
[ ] I am an alcoholic
[ ] I drink when I can
[X] I like cold weather (sometimes, because it makes the air smell good and reminds me of the mountains)
[ ] I'm obsessed with the computer
[ ] I have shot a gun before.
[X] I can't live without music.
[X] I have zero tolerance for ignorant people.
[ ] I have ridden on a motorcycle before
[ ] I'll be in this town forever
[ ] I've been to 5 other countries.
[ ] I get annoyed easily
[?] I eventually want kids (depends)
[ ] I have neat handwriting
[XXX] I have more than a few horrible memories
[X] I am addicted to chocolate
[X] I have full-blooded siblings
[ ] My parents are strict
[X] I love airplane rides
[X] I love taking pictures.
[X] I can be mean when I want to be
[~] My parents care about my grades
[X] One of my best friends is a member of the opposite sex
[~] I am easy to talk to
[~] I cry easily
[XXXXXX] I procrastinate
[X] I love springtime
[ ] I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser (i hate this about myself- i cant let go of old clothes)
[X] I love to sleep.
[X] I wish I were smarter.
[ ] I'm afraid of flying.
[ ] I hate drama.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I have been on a 9 hour car ride
[ ] I never fight with my parents.
[X] I love the beach
[ ] I have never had the chicken pox
[X] I have gone out in public in my pajamas
[ ] I can't control my emotions
[X] I have a best friend
[X] I have moved more than once.
[still trying to determin what love is, i care about them a lot though] I truly love my friends
[X] I have/had braces
[X] I love to write (sometimes)
[ ] I have never broken a bone
[ ] I love my computer
[ ] I love guys/girls that play the drums
[?] I'm a happy person
[X] I love to dance (when alone)
[X] I love to sing (when alone)
[X] love to act crazy and be funny (sometimes)
[ ] I love cleaning my room (only other people's rooms)
[XXXXXX] I tend to get jealous very easily
[X] I love boxers
[X] I love night better than day (sometimes)
[X] I have been on the phone for over 5 hours at a time
[X] I don't like to study for tests.
[ ] I have had pneumonia
[X] I am too forgiving (sometimes)
[ ] I have horrible sense of direction.
[X] I miss elementary school
[?] I love kisses on my forehead.
[ ] I love the color pink.
[ ] I love to sew
[X] My eye color changes
[ ] I play on a sports team
[X] I become stressed easily
[X] I hate liars. (even though i am one)
[ ] I like comfy sweatpants.
[X] I can play the piano
[X] I love to play in the rain.
[some of it] I love my family
[ ] I hate needles
[X] I am a perfectionist. (in some things)
[X] I always wanted to learn to play the guitar
[X] I hate the feeling of failure.
[X] I have friends in other countries
[X] I know how to cook
[X] I can speak another language.
[X] At times I can be selfish
[X] At times, I still act like a little kid
[ ] I have allergies
[ ] I love babies
[XXXX] I love to read
[X] I wish I were more motivated for school
[ ] I love getting stuff in the mail
[XXXXXX] I have problems with letting go of old feelings/memories.
[ ] I hate being alone
[~] I love friends and think I can never have too many
[X] I love summer.
[X] I love the weekends.
[X] I love black eyeliner
[X] I can type with one hand
[X] I live in a house.
[X] I wear make-up. (on occasion)
[X] I have never ridden on an underground subway.
[ ] I can't swim.
[ ] I go to church
[ ] I sing in the shower
[ ] I have never been camping
[ ] I hate cheerleaders.
[ ] I usually get what I want.
[X] I have been on stage before.
[X] I love roller coasters
[one of them] I am close with my parents
[X] My nails are painted right now. (toenails are kathryn's shiny purple-green)
[X] I have never been skiing or snowboarding

Clouds ~ 77% Water ~ 74% Wind ~ 51% Earth ~ 33% Fire ~

Big ring around the moon It's gonna rain hard soon Your colours are the dark green of the sea and silver, but also azure and gold. You are likely romantic, gentle, intelligent and curious. However, you may sometimes appear moody or weary. You could try wearing a Sardonyx; it inspires stamina, energy and creativity and thus brings you a bit closer to harmony. In detail: Your Heart Chakra, which is associated with the element of water and represents our sense of love and compassion, and your Throat Chakra, which is associated with the element of wind and represents our desire to learn and communicate, are predominant. Your Ground Chakra, which is associated with the element of fire and represents our basic desires and driving force, and your Creative Chakra, which is associated with the element of earth and represents our need to preserve and grow, are not quite as prominent.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 98% on water You scored higher than 73% on wind You scored higher than 32% on earth You scored higher than 1% on fire

Link: The Elemental Balance Test written by Nitsuki on Ok Cupid

awww, this is so sweet:)